I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
