dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
