I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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