Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
