wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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