What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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