My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
