That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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