Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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