it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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