At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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