when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
