I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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