Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
