I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm sobbing to NWA
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
