So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
