Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
