we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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