This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
