Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
