if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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