he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
a search helicopter?!
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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