i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
