They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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