Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
