FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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