Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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