...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I need moral support for this bender
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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