I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
