Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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