They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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