Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
