if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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