Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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