Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
