You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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