How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
