Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
