saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
is it fun? or sober?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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