Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
