That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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