I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
