How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I can text with my tongue
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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