i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
