dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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