OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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