He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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