Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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