I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
honey bunches of taint.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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