Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize