this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
