I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
