Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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