Buhtt sex?
he fucked my hip out of place.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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