I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize