well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
