Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
