I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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